he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
40s are totally the cure
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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