im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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