I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
