I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
