You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
