I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
