I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize