Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
