I feel great
I just peed on a car
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
