she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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