So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
