I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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