1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
