so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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