Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
