Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
