I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
