Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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