just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
