i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
