I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
