So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
