it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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