I should be sponsored by Trojan
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
