Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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