Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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