eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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