so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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