Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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