Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
