my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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