im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
