Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize