Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
