Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
