I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
