i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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