We're like a lot better than the average bears
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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