Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
