I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Of course I have a pirate flag
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
