i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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