You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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