porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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