Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
