he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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