i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
