I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
