Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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