it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
