I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize