I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
