I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
