you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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