oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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