Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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