idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize