so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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