I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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