part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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