my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I lost the right to judge tonight
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
