he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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