Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
