i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize