I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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