So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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