Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize