he shaved USA in his pubs
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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