Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
